So you’ve chosen to have an adult-only wedding. Whether it’s a cost concern, spacing issue, or just your preference – it doesn’t matter. Having no kids at your wedding is becoming increasingly popular for various reasons.
Couples are concerned about how to say “no kids” on the wedding invitations without offending anyone. This question comes up again and again, even during initial consultations with couples.
It’s a Tricky Situation
The Proper Way: Envelope Addressing
By the way the envelope is addressed, guests should know exactly who is, and who isn’t, invited to the wedding. This is also applicable for inviting “plus ones” – allowing single guests to bring a date. No children’s names listed means they’re not invited. No “and guest” means your friend should fly solo. (I met my boyfriend by attending a wedding solo and highly recommend it, just sayin!)
That being said, not everyone knows and understands this rule of etiquette. The still polite workaround? Put a “number attending” line under the Accepts wording on the RSVP card. If someone puts a number higher than what they were allocated, reach out and let them know the situation. This is something a wedding planner or close relative can handle – so you don’t have to feel awkward. Read more about handling the number attending on your RSVP card here.
Getting More Explicit
Out of your entire guest list, you might only have a small percentage of families with children and the above options work well. If you feel that a majority need clearer instructions (hey, you know your guests better than I do!) you can get a little more explicit.
Adult Only Reception
At the bottom of most invitations, there is some wording around the reception to follow. In the case of a no kids wedding, you can simply list “Adult Reception to Follow”. This gets the point across, however there could be some confusion on if children are invited to the ceremony only. It seems unlikely parents would bring their children to a ceremony knowing they weren’t invited to the reception, but hey – I’m sure it’s happened.
Wedding Website
Your wedding website is the perfect place to announce that your big day is child free, along with your other important wedding details. That being said, not everyone will visit your website so adding it somewhere within your wedding suite too isn’t a bad idea.
RSVP Card for Child Free Wedding
Along with the number attending line, there are a few ways to address your child free wedding on the RSVP card itself. Keep in mind people do send this back, but I think a statement like one of the below would be memorable for anyone considering bringing their little ones.
- Although we love your children, this is an adult only event.
- In order to allow all guests, including parents, a night of relaxation, we have chosen for our wedding to be an adult only occasion. We can’t wait to celebrate with you!
- Due to space limitations, we’re celebrating with adults only.
Stay in the light hearted and positive mindset without just straight up saying NO KIDS, YO!
Dealing with Backlash
I hope no one you’re inviting has an issue with your decision and/or your communication of it. If you feel like there’s someone who might really be hurt, reach out prior to mailing the invitations so they don’t feel blindsided by the announcement.
That being said, stand your ground for anyone who reacts negatively. It is the choice of you, your future husband or wife, and your families. Weddings are a time to celebrate your love and if you’ve chosen to do so without kids – that is your right.
Are you having a child free wedding? Let me know in the comments what made your decision! Check out this post for invitation wording on other sticky situations!
46 Comments on “No Kids” Wedding Invitation Wording
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Daughter had a no kids wedding and reception. No one had any issues except for one person. And she was very vocal. As she is a relative, she made sure every other relative knew her thots. I was appalled. But as “weddings and funerals bring out the best in everyone” (meaning the worst), and as this relative wasn’t the bride, we did our best to blow it off. Daughter was hurt a little bit, but there were too many other things to concentrate on. This relative loudly announced that there was no way she would attend. So when the day of the wedding came, it was peaceful and fun. But there will always be someone who is upset. And the lesson learned was that you can’t please everyone. If you are the bride, do it your way!
Thank you for replying! That is awful, but it sounds like it turned out well that she didn’t attend. You definitely can’t please everyone and there are always going to be people who dislike your decisions. You just have to do what is best for you, your husband/wife to be, and the people who care about you most!
Is it acceptable to only have kids in the ywedding part
I was wondering this myself! We have four children that have to attend so feel awkward about not allowing anyone else to bring children.
For our wedding we are having both of our kids attend the ceremony and stay for part of the reception then they will be heading home with their nanny! I know they wouldn’t want to be out all day anyway it can be a little overwhelming for them as well!
totally doing this too
Yes, absolutely! It’s your wedding, your rules. You can just address the envelopes to parents only, have a number attending line on the RSVP, and talk to anyone who puts a number above what you’ve invited!
We have three flower girls under the age of 7 who will be leaving after dinner (thank you grandma!). However, we have two close relatives around the age of 12, who if not invited, would significantly hurt the parents chance of being able to come. We have chosen to reach out separately to those two families and let them know we understand and are ok if their kids come, but if they can make other accommodations we would appreciate it. Our main priority is celebrating with those we love. I am worried others may be insulted, but i also know those same families have more baby-sitting options available.
No, we invited children because a wedding isn’t a giant party. A wedding is communication that the 2 of you are bonded for the rest of your lives anc most likely will also have children. Chilxren ate an important part of the family anc community and should not be brushed aside. In fact, my cousin rounded all the children at her wedding , the formed a circle holding hands and danced to a special song. It was beautiful and the children and adults loved it. Unfortunately, in the US and other western nations children are considered a nuisance and don’t count in many celebrations. At holidays they have a kids table away from parents. I believe that children are an important part of family and friends and should be greated as such. If the wedding couple is concerned with the behavior and language of those guests that drink to excess, perhaps those are the ones who should stay home, because those are the actions of a very immature person. There always seems to be one or two of them at a wedding.
Hi Ivona,
I am getting married in June & our wedding is “No children under 13”. I work as a teacher for elementary school as well as my MOH. We both know we cannot turn off “Teacher Mode”. I don’t even have a flower girl or ring bearer because the children I have in my life are too young (7 and 1 year) and would possibly cause a scene/cry during the ceremony. I would want to enjoy my time child free and not have to worry about any children running around and causing a muck. At least at 13 years old, it is not an extra cost for a “special children’s meal” of chicken nuggets and fries.
I agree with you! I’ve been a babysitter since a was little and I feel like I always have the mom instinct and at my wedding I’d like to be stress free from other people’s kids.
I think it’s incredibly rude to have a no children wedding, and I’ve taught school for 22 years. This is a childless woman mentality. When you have children of your own you will be embarrassed that you did this. The last wedding I attended stated no children EXCEPT FAMILY! I could not believe it. The epitome of low class poor manners. As the previous person stated, a wedding is a celebration of families coming together, and if you’re so selfish that you don’t want to have a crying baby or chatty toddler vocalize during your big day maybe you need to reevaluate your priorities in life. I was so offended by the audacity of these people to even think it was ok to include such wording on an invitation. I had to pay $60 for a babysitter so I could attend the wedding. Not ok. My wedding will welcome all children, everyone. I’m seriously embarrassed for everyone that has the nerve to demand a no children wedding.
I think many people just want to celebrate with their friends. Most of my friends that have children LOVE getting away from their kids for a night out! Let’s face it – going out with your kids puts you in full-time parent mode; going out without your kids from time to time is a special treat!
Don’t come to a no-child wedding, then. If you can’t respect the couple’s decision to celebrate the way they want to (it’s literally their day, not yours), then it sounds like you don’t deserve to celebrate with them at all. Also, some people don’t want to have children and that’s perfectly fine. Seems super judgmental for you to expect everyone around you to have the same values and life-goals. Jeez.
Hello, I’m copying and pasting my response to Ivona’s message in case you don’t see it, here it is… before you go around throwing assumptions about people who aren’t having children (or limited to family or over a certain age) at their wedding, think about other things. I’m getting married next month, and when I made the wedding list, we realized we would’ve had over 40 kids at our wedding. The venue does not have the space for that or the accommodations, nor do my parents have the money to pay for food to feed that many children, or find a bigger venue to accommodate for that many children. We are respectfully inviting our families children, children in the wedding party, and kids older than 12. We aren’t having alcohol at our wedding either. We simply made the decisions we have due to limited space, safety concerns, and cost. We looooove children, so don’t assume everyone who doesn’t invite children are thinking children are a nuisance, because that’s not fair to say about people you do not know. You should be more respectful of other people’s decisions instead of trying to make everyone else, who thinks differently than you do, feel bad.
How did you word your invitation? We have the exact same situation. Thank you!
My daughter just got engaged and we are running into the same problem… so many kids is driving up the numbers. Clearly some of these people have never planned a wedding on a budget where guests, whether they’re kids or not, cost at least $50/plate. I had three kids of my own, I don’t hate them or think they’re a nuisance it’s about accommodating space and money. Weddings are insanely priced these days.
Lol I just stumbled on your comment that it is extremely rude to have a no kid wedding! My financial I are in our 40s and we will be having a no kid and no plus one wedding and recep.. we have no kids of our own and will never.
We are having a no kids wedding just so we can invite all the people we want to have there. I think if you have kids there, you have to open it to all kids and then you have to exclude people numbers wise and have the added cost of entertaining those kids. I get the cultural aspect but that’s not something that applies to us and it’s our day so we want it to be right for us. No kids works so we are doing it. If that means someone chooses not to come because of it, that’s OK, we accept their choice too.
Hahahaha this made me laugh so hard. You sound miserable
Hi the-nerve! Looks to me like you’re the one that’s got your nerves up in a bunch. You could have respectfully declined going to the wedding instead of spending money on a babysitter & bitterly attending the wedding.
My fiancé and I absolutely love kids but we are only having the wedding party’s kids and the kids that are in the wedding attend the reception. Maybe you’ll spend $60 on a babysitter but the bride and groom will spend way more accommodating those children. Because if we invite “the-nerve”’s child, we need to allow the other family’s children. Not only does the bride & groom have to feed the littles, the price of the event insurance goes up that some places require, extra rentals, extra bathrooms for outdoor venues, favors, entertainment…the list goes on. It seems to me that you’re the selfish one when you get to the bottom of it. Be grateful that the bride & groom even thought to add you to a guest list. Respectfully, low-class-poor-mannered-childless-mentality-selfish-BRIDE!
To state that someone is low class cause they prefer no children at their wedding is laughable. Open bars, alcohol, and the music of this day and age that is more adult level could be one reason…. Kids get tired and have different needs when they are smaller. My wedding venue is incredibly small and there are steep stairs and wanting people to drink, dance, and relax without chasing their children-damaging things-getting hurt IS NOT low class it’s actually responsible. What’s right for you may not be right for anyone…. Just like raising said children. The fact that you stated your opinion as fact and then insulted people different from you actually shows the level of intelligence you’re operating from. You should do better. Just because someone has children does not mean they have to go everywhere with them. Weddings are a celebration of love but that’s something only age appropriate children can understand… so all this rhetoric and venom makes you sound silly.
If you’re a bride and you have no children at your wedding you’re not a monster and thank you for providing a fun date night to hang out and celebrate with friends!
Hi, before you go around throwing assumptions about people who aren’t having children (or limited to family or over a certain age) at their wedding, think about other things. I’m getting married next month, and when I made the wedding list, we realized we would’ve had over 40 kids at our wedding. The venue does not have the space for that or the accommodations, nor do my parents have the money to pay for food to feed that many children, or find a bigger venue to accommodate for that many children. We are respectfully inviting our families children, children in the wedding party, and kids older than 12. We aren’t having alcohol at our wedding either. We simply made the decisions we have due to limited space, safety concerns, and cost. We looooove children, so don’t assume everyone who doesn’t invite children are thinking children are a nuisance, because that’s not fair to say about people you do not know. You should be more respectful of other people’s decisions instead of trying to make everyone else, who thinks differently than you do, feel bad.
Totally agree with you! I have 2 kids and I have attended a no kids wedding and i didn’t find it offensive at all.. after all, it’s not my wedding…yet, I was able to enjoy it without having to cater to my kids (ie who wants to constantly go to the bathroom, who needs assistance to get food etc).. I’m planning for my wedding in a few months and the only kids I plan to have there are mine!! If someone feels some type a way about that… then don’t come.. simple!
Ivona, did you comment on this post just to ruffle some feathers? FYI, a reception IS a big party celebrating the union of two people who vowed to stay together forever. People spend their hard earned money on weddings so they can celebrate their union with their loved ones. They have every right to decide whether they want children to attend. If you ever get invited to an adults only wedding, do the couple a favor a respectfully and quietly decline. Be grateful you even got an invitation in the first place. Respectfully, an-adults-only-with-the-exception-of-wedding-party-children-BRIDE.
We decided not to have any kids at our wedding besides our nieces and nephews. We wanted to fill up the venue with more friends and not use the space on kids. We were also worried about people not getting the message with how we addressed the invitations. We knew if they brought their kids we literally wouldn’t have room for them. So on the RSVP card we filled in a blank- “we’ve saved __ number of seats for you.”
For the most part our guests were also excited to have a kid free evening.
I plan on doing the same! Future MIL has already added kids to her guest list TWICE after I said no kids besides nieces and nephews. It’s a stressful situation but I’m hoping to stand my ground (we are paying for it and agree I don’t want to invite less friends to include kids I have never met).
This is very rude, no children except family. Wow.
Sounds like the person above “the nerve” is entitled! It’s not your wedding so why care! ?
My wedding is early next year and it is an Adult Only situation with the exception of my Niece & Nephew. My niece who is the flower girl & her brother are 2 of my favorite people in the world. My family knows how I am about them. His family may wonder why the 2 of them are invited & no other children. Honestly I’m not concerned with who’s bothered by it. Those people are more than welcome to not attend and stay home with their children.
I want to have a kid free wedding, except my sister who is 5 and my cousin that I’ve lived with for a year, who is also 5, who are in the wedding. How do you word something like this on the website?
I am in the same boat. I don’t want an adult reception, but I also want my niece’s and nephews in my ceremony. I researched a little, and found this suggestion. I believe it is based on space/ budget. I just need to play around with the wording.
“Unfortunately we are only able to accommodate the children in our wedding party at our reception.”
Edit: I want an adult reception, not I don’t. Lol
This is the way my daughter’s invitations will read .a separate note have been created . ❤️ With Respect ……in order to keep numbers to a minimum, we can only invite small number of children. We also thought you might like a night off.” I Hope this could help you
I plan on just putting “Adults Only” on my invitation, and then notifying the parents of the children who are invited that this does not pertain to them. We are only having 2 children (my 2 youngest cousins) at the wedding because I don’t have the money to accommodate all the children in my family. If people ask, I’m fine to explain that only my first cousins were invited and I had to draw the line somewhere ??♀️ I think most people will understand
How do I address to guests that we will only be allowing family only children at our wedding, of which there would be in total 6.
We’re putting that this is an adult only event beyond our nieces and nephews
I am putting “Children of Family Only”
A well detailed and handy article. Many thanks for sharing, it’s bound to help lots of folks out there.
You always post helpful information, some
of which I share on Facebook.
Get ready to offend every parent of young children. This is so rude and hurtful. You do realize that the parent(s) will have to shell out at least $50 on a babysitter due to your selfishness of not wanting extra noise during your ceremony. You’ll get it once you have children of your own. And you will be embarrassed you ever made this decision.
Get over yourself and just don’t go to the wedding if you can’t afford a sitter. The bride will have to pay at least $50 to feed the child who likely does not want to be there so this argument is irrelevant and rude. And not everyone wants to have children. Don’t be such an entitled asshole on this post. Jesus.
I agree. My dinner is $250 a person bc I always said I wanted a very elegant dinner. My own child won’t even be at the reception. We are hiring a babysitter for my son and his 3 cousins. My son will be at the ceremony and as soon as that and pictures are over, he’s going with the sitter.
I kind of have to invite kids, everyone in my wedding party has children, as do most of our relatives. Can anyone think of working for “no kids after 8pm” I just don’t was exhausted cranky kids running around. My kids are going home at 8, so should yours lol
Hi Ranya! I’ve done “we have chosen for our reception to be adults only after 8pm” before. Hope that helps : )
My wedding will be allowing children only over 10. I want mine and my husband’s wedding to not have screaming kids. If any of our friends have a problem with that, then too bad. It’s out decision and not their wedding and we’d be glad to drop them as our friends. Same with family.
I will be married 6 years this October. The only kids that were invited to our wedding and Reception were my daughter and the flower girls and ring bears lol! I put Adults only. Everyone was cool with it.